


That Woman [fic & podfic]

by KD reads (KDHeart), Sarshi



Category: Discworld, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Crack, F/M, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, text with audio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-05-04
Packaged: 2017-12-10 09:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/784614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDHeart/pseuds/KD%20reads, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarshi/pseuds/Sarshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vetinari has business at Hogwarts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Woman [fic & podfic]

Cover by KDHeart.

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## Streaming Audio

## Downloads

  * [MP3](http://kdheart.parakaproductions.com/ampli13/that%20woman.mp3) | **Size:** 3.39MB | **Duration:** 3:37min

  
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It was a secret of Havelock Vetinari that he should get some of the more sensitive devices he needed in order to be a proper tyrant from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The magic was unfamiliar enough in his own home Discworld that nobody really knew how to counter it yet. And he needed it to solve the issue of a very dead ambassador from the other side of the Disc – there was no point in conducting a war, after all.

It was during one of his expeditions to Hogwarts that he encountered Irene Adler, former Slytherin and current spy in the Muggle world, involved in high politics via her high talents. He first got a hint of those talents when he found himself noticing that she was a woman – such a thing rarely happened to him. Of course, people were classified into male and female, but it wasn’t often that the Patrician of Ankh Morpork would find himself considering notions like ‘feminine mystique’, or pondering on the nature of romance, the body, the spirit and their interconnection. He noticed the phenomenon, classified it as attraction (or even a certain in-love mood) and proceeded to function just the same despite it.

When she caught him alone in an office, as he was waiting for Snape to bring him a potion that would allow him to turn into another’s likeness for awhile (so he could pretend to be said dead ambassador until the mystery got solved), he gave in to her charm and took some delight in her perfume and delicacy as she kissed him. It would never go any further, he told himself. She was attracted to women and he had no attractions.

Except her.

Another time, she came to him out of nowhere, asking him to bring her a bottle of narrativum from his world, because she needed some things to work according to narrative causality. He did it without a second thought, although he asked himself why he felt he should have protested, or asked for anything in return, as he normally would have.

On yet another occasion, a cool Severus Snape told him she had veela blood, so the Patrician would be wiser to stay away from her. Vetinari noted it down – not as warning, he was wise enough never to have disclosed anything of importance to her – but as a curiosity. Although his curiosity peaked when he noticed the very same Severus Snape kissing her hand in deference and attempting to move to more romantic areas, which she seemed to be permitting, within limits.

That woman was a mystery who seemed to be able to get under the skin of any man. So he gave her a huge bag of money and asked her to work her magic on Sherlock Holmes and get him to do her a favor by solving the mystery of the dead ambassador Vetinari had on his hands. If that didn’t work out… well… the person who had sent the ambassador was a very powerful queen who would undoubtedly be interested in Irene.

Vetinari was certain he had a heart, somewhere. It was just very lost in politics. He was sure Irene would understand that.


End file.
